This is a one-of post. Being a man is, after all, mostly about non-verbal cues. Explaining the sauce, no matter how cool you go about it, is a bit gay.
But, has to be done. The basics of being a man have been lost, especially for young men nowadays who are told to shut up and listen to their soy-sipping professors. It’s the deaf leading the blind. So, let’s write an overview post that covers the fundamentals. I’ll start with myself.
How to be an asshole
Let’s travel back in time, to when I was a young lad. I had landed a one-time gig as model. Yes, although I may not be boastful about my looks, rest assured that your host is quite the handsome catch. Unfortunately, the event itself was a frustrating experience for me.
You’d expect the world of modeling to be full of fags and sissies, and it is, but by some odd chance, I was thrown into a group of cool guys. And, to my utmost frustration, I did not fit in. See, they were flirting with the girls, talking about their businesses and sports, and I was just… Awkward. It was around the time I was into meditating, so I’d disappear for thirty minutes to meditate in the bathroom, or some shit. But also, I just didn’t vibe well. I was try-hard.
There was a party after the modeling, pretty sure all the guys from my group picked up hot women. I went home empty-handed.
Now, if you’re familiar with my even further past, you’ll know that I was bullied in high school. By the time this modeling thing happened, I thought I had fixed that problem: punch your bully in the nose. But here, the problem was not exactly that I was being bullied. I was just subtly let known that I did not fit in. They were dismissive.
It took me a while to understand what was going on. It was a mindset thing.
See, implicit between all men is an understanding: every man is for himself. No one’s gonna take care of you, no one’s gonna make sure your life works the way you want it to work. It is all up to you. Even worse: not only can other men not help you, a good chunk of them will sabotage you. Men are each other’s most serious competition, after all.
So, what does a self-made man instinctively do? He pushes away men who do not understand those rules. Because if you don’t understand the rules, you are apt to think they do not apply to you, thus you act like a moron, thus you inflict damage on those around you.
On the other hand, if you are self-made, you have, in one way or the other, come to terms with the rules of engagement, so you respect them. You know what it takes to cooperate with other men, and you recognize it when other men don’t know how to cooperate. So, you do the healthy thing: you demand the minimum of social decorum from other men, and if they do not have it, you punish them for displaying weakness.
It took me a few years to get this. And now that I do, what else can I say but: the dismissive guys were right. I do the same thing. Which, of course, elicits the typical response: “he can be such an asshole.” Yes. Well. What can I say? I’m not really an asshole. Not a full-blown asshole, anyway. I act like one, because that’s what gets the message across. You act an asshole because it works, and only in retrospect do you come to terms with being called an asshole.
(For instance, a great benefit of being called an asshole is that it cements your reputation as a guy who knows women.)
But I feel like I am talking about two things at once. Let’s take a step back and discuss the issues separately.
Pieces of Shit
First, let’s talk about other people. Most people are neutral, which is to say: they are not especially bad, not especially good. They’re fine. But, there is a significant minority of people who are, quite simply, pieces of shit.
You’ve got pieces of shit in all the colors of the rainbow. There’s fat pieces of shit, communist pieces of shit, general pieces of shit, and so on and so on.
Now, the Progs tell us that we are all a big family, that it is bad to make a distinction between us (decent people) and them (pieces of shit).
It is in fact unhealthy not to make such a distinction. Try it for yourself. Next time a person acts like a piece of shit, say to yourself: that person is a piece of shit. It is very liberating.
Now, the reactionaries have a tendency to over-analyze the meaning of shit, of which I’ll be the first to admit guilt. How can a person be such a big piece of shit without feeling any remorse? That sort of thing. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter so much. It’s like, you can analyze the color, structure and texture of pieces of shit, but in the end, it’s just shit anyway.
So, the takeaway rule is this: if you learn someone is a piece of shit, you keep a healthy distance from that person. That is all that is required. When you’re young you make mistakes, because sometimes it is hard to recognize who is a piece of shit. But as you grow older, you get better at spotting pieces of shit, up to the point where all you need is five minutes of talking to know: this guy’s a piece of shit.
And I mean, it’s not like you need to dramatically banish pieces of shit from your life and never talk to them again. You can hang with pieces of shit, sure, you just… Keep in mind that they’re pieces of shit, y’know what I mean?
So that’s the first thing.
Take care of yourself
The second thing is to take care of yourself.
For instance, ask yourself: what do I own? Do you own a nice house? Nice job? Nice girl? Kids? Car? Several pieces of property? Where do you get your status from? Do you actually own stuff that makes you feel good? Or do you only have the vague promise that some day you’ll surely own stuff that makes you feel good?
Once again, the Progs tell us we don’t need to own anything. Experiences are more important than stuff! Bullshit. I’d much rather invest in a shed with powertools than a three-month clichèd journey through south-east Asia to ‘find myself’. A man needs property; it makes him feel high-status, and rightly so.
Think of it this way: whenever shit comes your way, and shit always comes your way, how well-prepared are you to face it? Can you deal with problems? I don’t believe a man who plays video games eight hours a day in a twenty square meter rented studio can. He hasn’t taken care of himself.
The majority of my day is filled with maintaining and working on stuff I own. It is the complete opposite of what I was ever told I should do, but it is very fulfilling. I take pride in stuff like sorting my pictures, replacing the exhaust hood, building a DIY shed. It is very wholesome.
So, that’s the basics. After we have covered this, we can get to the fun stuff. But this needs to be in order before we can get to the fun stuff, hence this post.