Open application for the job of archbishop

I guess now’s as a good a time as any to make it official: I hereby openly apply for the future job of archbishop.

You’ll find my resumé attached to this site.

Now I hear you asking: ‘Alf, you might be overqualified as archbishop, but what the hell are you going to do when you’re archbishop?’ Good question.

To be completely fair, I only have half a clue of what I’m going to do. Probably similar to what the popes in the old days used to do. Definitely not what the popes do nowadays. It’s kind of a figure-it-out-as-we-go-along thing.

Here’s how I’ll probably start: set up office in Harvard, and oversee the education of a new, much smaller generation of priests. A lot of work will include dismantling institutions of education for old priests; aka the dissolvement of the monasteries. Humanities and social sciences will take a big, well-deserved hit.

Here’s another idea I like: I’ll give a course, Moldbug 101. Eleven men may apply for it. The new crop of priests. The first course, we’ll put online in its entirety. On Youtube or wherever. Moldbug backed by power. How fun would that be.

As for the other responsibilities, I’m sure we’ll figure it out. I think most of it falls under the Dutch axiom of ‘act normal and you act crazy enough’. I’ll be looking forward to working together with the Grand Inquisitor, at least. Hope that’ll be Jim, but if not, I’m again sure we’ll figure something out.


  1. Alf. In preparation to apply as priest in training (coop priest?), what sort of mid-nineteenth century books should I be reading? Who can I trust to give me a right and proper perspective on healthy theology?

    1. I’m not exactly the expert on 19th century books. I like A Southside View of Slavery as much as I like Sperm Wars.

      For proper theology, read King James Version bible, Jim’s blog (including comment section), and of course my book.

  2. Setting up office in Harvard might appeal to moderate Jimians, but I think orthodox Jimians will be very sceptical about that idea. They might prefer leveling it and salting the earth thereafter.

    Maybe it is good policy offering something to the moderate facttion of Jimians. As Archbishop you’ll have to be able work with both moderate and orthodox Jimians. The Grand Inquisitor will certainly help, especially by preventing the moderates from becoming too moderate.

    By the way, I’m also sceptical about educating the new crop of priests online, especially via youtube. Don’t overdo it with this appealing to moderate Jiminans. Jiman priests should be very literate.

    1. It’s not about offering an online course, it’s about letting the world know what is high status. Education will of course be offline, traditional, and literal.

      As for leveling Harvard: who knows. If we have better options, we’ll take them. But we’ll start there. Establish dominance.

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