How to be a man

This is a one-of post. Being a man is, after all, mostly about non-verbal cues. Explaining the sauce, no matter how cool you go about it, is a bit gay.

But, has to be done. The basics of being a man have been lost, especially for young men nowadays who are told to shut up and listen to their soy-sipping professors. It’s the deaf leading the blind. So, let’s write an overview post that covers the fundamentals. I’ll start with myself.

How to be an asshole
Let’s travel back in time, to when I was a young lad. I had landed a one-time gig as model. Yes, although I may not be boastful about my looks, rest assured that your host is quite the handsome catch. Unfortunately, the event itself was a frustrating experience for me.

You’d expect the world of modeling to be full of fags and sissies, and it is, but by some odd chance, I was thrown into a group of cool guys. And, to my utmost frustration, I did not fit in. See, they were flirting with the girls, talking about their businesses and sports, and I was just… Awkward. It was around the time I was into meditating, so I’d disappear for thirty minutes to meditate in the bathroom, or some shit. But also, I just didn’t vibe well. I was try-hard.

There was a party after the modeling, pretty sure all the guys from my group picked up hot women. I went home empty-handed.

Now, if you’re familiar with my even further past, you’ll know that I was bullied in high school. By the time this modeling thing happened, I thought I had fixed that problem: punch your bully in the nose. But here, the problem was not exactly that I was being bullied. I was just subtly let known that I did not fit in. They were dismissive.

It took me a while to understand what was going on. It was a mindset thing.

See, implicit between all men is an understanding: every man is for himself. No one’s gonna take care of you, no one’s gonna make sure your life works the way you want it to work. It is all up to you. Even worse: not only can other men not help you, a good chunk of them will sabotage you. Men are each other’s most serious competition, after all.

So, what does a self-made man instinctively do? He pushes away men who do not understand those rules. Because if you don’t understand the rules, you are apt to think they do not apply to you, thus you act like a moron, thus you inflict damage on those around you.

On the other hand, if you are self-made, you have, in one way or the other, come to terms with the rules of engagement, so you respect them. You know what it takes to cooperate with other men, and you recognize it when other men don’t know how to cooperate. So, you do the healthy thing: you demand the minimum of social decorum from other men, and if they do not have it, you punish them for displaying weakness.

It took me a few years to get this. And now that I do, what else can I say but: the dismissive guys were right. I do the same thing. Which, of course, elicits the typical response: “he can be such an asshole.” Yes. Well. What can I say? I’m not really an asshole. Not a full-blown asshole, anyway. I act like one, because that’s what gets the message across. You act an asshole because it works, and only in retrospect do you come to terms with being called an asshole.

(For instance, a great benefit of being called an asshole is that it cements your reputation as a guy who knows women.)

But I feel like I am talking about two things at once. Let’s take a step back and discuss the issues separately.

Pieces of Shit
First, let’s talk about other people. Most people are neutral, which is to say: they are not especially bad, not especially good. They’re fine. But, there is a significant minority of people who are, quite simply, pieces of shit.

You’ve got pieces of shit in all the colors of the rainbow. There’s fat pieces of shit, communist pieces of shit, general pieces of shit, and so on and so on.

Now, the Progs tell us that we are all a big family, that it is bad to make a distinction between us (decent people) and them (pieces of shit).

Nonsense.

It is in fact unhealthy not to make such a distinction. Try it for yourself. Next time a person acts like a piece of shit, say to yourself: that person is a piece of shit. It is very liberating.

Now, the reactionaries have a tendency to over-analyze the meaning of shit, of which I’ll be the first to admit guilt. How can a person be such a big piece of shit without feeling any remorse? That sort of thing. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter so much. It’s like, you can analyze the color, structure and texture of pieces of shit, but in the end, it’s just shit anyway.

So, the takeaway rule is this: if you learn someone is a piece of shit, you keep a healthy distance from that person. That is all that is required. When you’re young you make mistakes, because sometimes it is hard to recognize who is a piece of shit. But as you grow older, you get better at spotting pieces of shit, up to the point where all you need is five minutes of talking to know: this guy’s a piece of shit.

And I mean, it’s not like you need to dramatically banish pieces of shit from your life and never talk to them again. You can hang with pieces of shit, sure, you just… Keep in mind that they’re pieces of shit, y’know what I mean?

So that’s the first thing.

Take care of yourself
The second thing is to take care of yourself.

For instance, ask yourself: what do I own? Do you own a nice house? Nice job? Nice girl? Kids? Car? Several pieces of property? Where do you get your status from? Do you actually own stuff that makes you feel good? Or do you only have the vague promise that some day you’ll surely own stuff that makes you feel good?

Once again, the Progs tell us we don’t need to own anything. Experiences are more important than stuff! Bullshit. I’d much rather invest in a shed with powertools than a three-month clichèd journey through south-east Asia to ‘find myself’. A man needs property; it makes him feel high-status, and rightly so.

Think of it this way: whenever shit comes your way, and shit always comes your way, how well-prepared are you to face it? Can you deal with problems? I don’t believe a man who plays video games eight hours a day in a twenty square meter rented studio can. He hasn’t taken care of himself.

The majority of my day is filled with maintaining and working on stuff I own. It is the complete opposite of what I was ever told I should do, but it is very fulfilling. I take pride in stuff like sorting my pictures, replacing the exhaust hood, building a DIY shed. It is very wholesome.

So, that’s the basics. After we have covered this, we can get to the fun stuff. But this needs to be in order before we can get to the fun stuff, hence this post.

10 Comments

  1. “See, implicit between all men is an understanding: every man is for himself. No one’s gonna take care of you, no one’s gonna make sure your life works the way you want it to work. It is all up to you. Even worse: not only can other men not help you, a good chunk of them will sabotage you. Men are each other’s most serious competition, after all.”

    Not quite. Every man must for himself become valuable; his parents will help him somewhat, but that’s it. Essentially the boy has to grow into a man all by himself.

    When a man is valuable, he’ll be able to get friends and allies. At that point, he’ll have help – as long as he is valuable. Manus manum lavat.

  2. >See, implicit between all men is an understanding: every man is for himself.

    Strong disagree on that. The way of men is the way of the gang. Humans are inherent cooperators and all that. I think you are confusing two different things. On is that to be worthy of membership in the gang, one has to be able to take care of his own needs and have something left over. So yes, the overly weak, whiny, needy don’t get gang membership. But once one is strong and useful enough to be a member of the gang, there is a lot of mutual cooperation and help.

    So the thing that looks like every man for himself is more like just a test, to see if one has enough ability and will to take care of his own basic needs and not have to be babysitted around plus something left over for the gang.

    I think the dismissive model guys mostly just thought a newbie can’t just show up and be immediately initiated into the gang. The newbie has to be tested and proven useful and worthy. How that could have worked there I don’t know, the world of modelling is bizarre and alien to me. When I was very much into Buddhism, and most meditation centers had some kind of construction work going on, the simplest way was to jump right in and carry heavy bags of cement or something. If there is no such common project, then it can be harder. I think such common projects are necessary.

    At least I don’t really like that form of male socialization where they don’t really have anything to do so they mostly just sit around idly and challenge each other to see who will submit to whom. It is better to have a common goal.

    According to Kemper, the three only angles of human interaction are power, status and technical activity. So when men form a mountaineering club, the actual climbing of mountains and setting up equipment is the technical activity, and much of status and power will be assigned that way, although the usual kinds of status and power battles happen, too. But when there is no common goal, no technical activity then it is just status and power battles and that I don’t like. I’d rather be that guy who is respected because he climbs well and carries equipment and pulls his weight and all that. Easier.

    1. Yet when the mountaineer returns home after mountain climbing, his buddies are not going to help him when his wife gives him shit.

      Men can cooperate and build something larger than themselves, yes. If I didn’t believe that I wouldn’t be here making up a whole religion and so on. But cooperation can only follow after a man knows how to take care of himself, and even then, precarious.

      Consider: if a gang is really all that, why am I so certain to bet that it is not your gang that brings food on the table? I am pretty sure you work for a boss/company that is not part of your gang, and that every member of your gang works for another boss/company that likewise is not part of their gang.

    2. Never heard of Kemper, but it sounds like that Kemper didn’t get out much. Maybe some men got wives for power or status or technical activity, but most did not aquire wives for any of those reasons

  3. I really enjoyed this article – had a few good solid giggles over a few of the passages.

    Those shit people links…..

    Re: Zizek – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YamAsbzPKA

    He is a real fat fuck. He’s supposed to wait for his post-revolutionary cult before full dear leader belly. But then I suppose that liberating the masses from soylent carbs really would be too fash for him.

    “Once again, the Progs tell us we don’t need to own anything. Experiences are more important than stuff! Bullshit. I’d much rather invest in a shed with powertools than a three-month clichèd journey through south-east Asia to ‘find myself’. A man needs property; it makes him feel high-status, and rightly so.”

    ^

    This trendy attitude that experiences are more valuable than stuff afflicts several of my close peer relations.

    My observation is that property that is useful tends to create experiences that are self-fulfilling and perpetuating anyway. Thinking of investing in tools, equipment, etc. that allows one to develop skills and create things ex nihilo. I am big believer in building one self through mastery of craftsmanship. I have a number of interrelated, time-intensive interests I pursue in this department. There is something special about making wood or metal or plastic or whatever come together into a form. Or to take some old machinery or vehicle and undo the passage of time.

    I think any serious believer in tradition should desire to be a proficient mechanic, electrician, draftsman, etc. independent of profession.

    You can ‘find yourself’ in your shed with those powertools a lot quicker and a lot cheaper than a trek through wherever. Plus the shit you make will be around and may even create a skillset that can make hard times a little softer.

    Being able to pursue supremacy of method in a craft or art with one’s own stuff is very rewarding.

  4. Your experience with the models is inapplicable. These are not men. These are fags, even if they are heterosexual.

    Men who are willing to pose and be ogled for money and vanity are always and without exception fags. I hope you got better and stopped doing that.

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