So, you’ve made the decision to convert to Jimianity. Congratulations! A wise choice indeed.
You may notice our dire lack of infrastructure, which is only slightly unusual for a budding religion. Unfortunately, every formal Christian institution has long been killed and skinned and is now inhabited by our enemies. So for now, we have resorted ourselves to the anonymous internet. We wish the situation were different too. Anyway. I’m sure you have lots of questions. Let’s see if we can answer some of them.
What do I do now that I’m a Jimian?
Not all too much differently. Think of Jimianity as playing a game. The game is called: ‘what would Jim have said about this?’ If Jim would have agreed, it is probably a good thing. If Jim would have disagreed, probably a bad thing. So, in all of life’s endeavors, ask yourself: what would Jim have said about this? Since Jim writes in an unambiguous manner, it should not be too hard to figure out Jim’s stance on the matter and it should also not be too hard to solve disputes with the help of Jim’s stance on the matter.
How do I use Jimianity to get ahead in life?
Naturally we want you to get ahead in life, because we want our allies to prosper. Our eventual goal is for our (that includes your) grandchildren to conquer the universe, but we are perfectly fine with our own (that includes yours) prosperity as a short-term goal. Jimianity is designed to get you ahead in life, in fact it is our single most effective selling point. No matter your problems, whether with women, with friends, with work, with property, with family… Everything serious in your life that you struggle with, everything on which you cannot find anyone to give you truthful advice, Jimianity provides. Jimianity gives its followers purpose, and the means to achieve that purpose.
Where do I find allies?
You likely have more allies than you think, even if few of them dare to say it out loud. Remember, not everyone has to agree with everything you say! For instance, many men willfully blind themselves to the dark nature of women and may thus be outraged when you suggest it is at times necessary to hit a woman. But, you will find that the next time their woman picks a fight with them and they have the urge to raise their hand, suddenly what you said does not sound so strange anymore, and suddenly they are not so ashamed of their urges anymore.
You will find your most natural allies among white men with children. These men, by nature of their position, think in terms of long-term cooperation, and Jimianity is the most cooperative religion around. Otherwise your natural allies are happy people.
You also have natural enemies. Bitter spinster cat ladies for example. Do not let their hatred bring you down; we are the religion of the strong, they are of the weak. They hate you because you are happy and they are not. They hate you because they fear you. Show them they have nothing to fear: show them it is safe to submit to you, that you care for them as well. This is our most powerful weapon.
How do I spread the Word of Jim?
How do you normally convince people? Just do that.
If you are bad at convincing people, I will add that people are best convinced by action, not by words. If in your action you are a successful man, and you attribute large part of that success to Jimianity, you will be more successful than any man who in action achieves nothing but talks about Jimianity all day. So, instead of telling other people how they’re wrong, show them how you’re right by making Jimianity work for you. Trust in Jimianity to make you prosper, trust in other people’s refusal to listen to bite them in the ankles. Remember, not even the richest man in the world is safe from the consequences of refusing to listen.
Hi I’m an entryist am I welcome too?
Ah, good to hear from you as well. An entryist, for those who don’t, has many names: parasite, leftist, infiltrator, leech to name just a few.
It is inevitable that a significant minority of new Jimians are entryists, and there will be only be more as Jimianity gains momentum. Entryists are attracted to power like moths to a light. An entryist, instead of building his own castle, infiltrates other castles and co-opts them. He will then kill the old guard and wear their skin as if it were his. This it is what entryists have done to Christianity, Western governments and many formerly beloved institutions. So, dear entryist, my answer is simple: no, you are not welcome.
Of course, this will not stop you from trying anyway. It is in your nature to try anyway. I do not blame you. This is after all the classic battle of the ages, the battle between creators and destroyers: we try to build a castle, you try to infiltrate it and destroy it from the inside. You must give us time to build a glorious and magnificent castle! I’m sure we will succeed, and only then, in a long time from now, will you no doubt eventually succeed in knocking it down. After which we will build a new castle, and the game can begin anew.
But I’m not an entryist!
Is exactly what an entryist would say. Show and don’t tell us that you can be trusted, and let us be the judge of it.